Category Archives: Story Problems

September 16, 2026 · 5:15 am

Third draft challenge: what to do with my cast

Writing Southern Discomfort took more than a decade.

Not that I spent the whole time struggling to create my novel. During that period I had various income-generating writing gigs, I wrote three movie books, I had other fiction projects. Still, I’d prefer to finish Let No Man Put Asunder much more quickly. I am, after all, getting older and with less time left, I feel the need to use it effectively.

Routinely at some point in the creative process I take my most recent draft and shift from repeated pantsing to plotting. With novels, this hasn’t ever worked well. This time, I’m determined it will. I’ve read over the second draft, taken lengthy notes, taken more based on how-to writing books and articles … now the replotting begins.

What have I learned from the reread? For one thing, my book’s gotten way too crowded.

In the previous version (this is a rewrite of an earlier novel) the supporting cast for Neil and Adrienne (now Paul and Mandy) included the telekinetic tween Plutarch; his robot sidekick Talos; chief antagonists Celathion and Grainge; Cordelia Winters, Neil’s swashbuckling love interest; Renador, high-tech thief; and Peacock and Mountebank who show up in the last quarter along with a couple more bit players. Plus Mircalla Karnstein, the vampire from J. Sheridan LeFanu’s “Carmilla,” who appears off-and-on.

In this version, the big change was setting everything in Mandy’s hometown, Bluestone, rather than having Mandy and Paul cast out into the multiverse. I think it’s the right move but an unanticipated side effect is that it’s expanded the cast. Mandy’s siblings. Hillier and Oriel, two Bluestone police detectives investigating the goings on. Plus Renador (now Raga) and Cordelia. Plus Peacock and Mountebank appearing a lot more. Plus Flavia (the former Plutarch) and Talos. And because I made Flavia black, she needs to have more of her own arc than Plutarch did, so she doesn’t end up a helpful Magical Negro.

The book is overstuffed. I think the villains can be worked out without too much trouble but the heroes? Cordelia feels awkward; the romance arc doesn’t work. I’m not sure if she’s become the wrong character as Paul develops, or there’s simply not space to develop it. Raga feels completely tacked on, like he no longer fits the narrative. A shame as I wound up with him and Mandy sleeping together, which fits her character arc (I’ll get into that later). My scene with Countess Karnstein feels awkward too. In the previous draft they stumbled smoothly into her lair, and the fight is intense; here it’s lacking. As I have one of her vampire lackeys taking point to hunt Paul and Mandy, I’m wondering if I shouldn’t leave Karnstein in the background or drop her completely.

Quite simply, there’s not enough space for everyone to develop. It’s not just about them having character arcs — various characters drop out of the plot when it feels like they should stick around. I fixed some of that in this last draft, but not enough. One option is to write bigger and give them all a role. Another, probably the more practical choice, is to trim the cast and develop the rest more.

Which to cut? Raga and the countess most obviously, but beyond that? Well, there’s Mandy’s family: four out of her five siblings show up but it might be better if one of them was out of town.

More on other aspects of the third draft soon.

Cover by Sam Collins, all rights are mine.

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September 11, 2026 · 4:16 pm

Second September verse, more or less same as the first

Which is to say that much like last week there were constant calls on my time but I still got good work done. Not as much as last week —Thursday there was too much stuff going on, including the housecleaners coming in (having to watch over four pets in a small room to keep them out of the way does not lead to productive results). Even so.

First, the medical stuff. Plushie’s eye ulcer is gone; once again his robustness shines through and his problems cleared up. Trixie, by contrast, followed up last week’s gastro-intestinal bleed with a UTI. Fortunately the vet has handled both and she’s on the road to recovery. In hindsight I was right a couple of weeks back to think something was wrong — her body language and behavior were “off” — but it was such a vibes-based thing I wasn’t sure it was quantifiable enough for the vet. Looking at her now, when she’s back to her usual cheery self, I can see I should have acted sooner.

Oh, and I had my own medical issue. A couple of weeks back I made a Scandinavian flatbrod, which the book described as a cracker-like flatbread. Turns out while it’s hard like a cracker it isn’t brittle; I hurt my gums biting hard on it (this may have been my baking rather than something innate in the recipe). Got an appointment with the dentist this week; she recommended waiting three weeks to see if the pain subsides. If not, I need a crown. Fingers crossed the pain goes away.

Like I said, work got done despite that. More work on my Doc Savage history, Savage Adventures. Two days going over the second draft of Let No Man Put Asunder. It helped clarify some of what I vaguely sensed wasn’t working with this last draft; now I’ll try to override my pantsing instincts and plot the next draft out thoroughly. I’ll discuss what lies ahead in one of next week’s posts.

At The Local Reporter I wrote about problems with school bus service in Chapel Hill and Carrboro, and how the Republican-dominated legislature is restricting local development rules. Over at Atomic Junk Shop I blogged about Steve Ditko’s Objectivism —

— and Bronze Age writers’ enthusiasm for bringing back C-list Silver Age villains.

I’m tired, sure. The timing of Trixie’s drug regimen means we usually wind up going to sleep later than usual and it’s taking its toll. But the work got done. I’m pleased.

Panels from Blue Beetle #5 drawn and written by Steve Ditko. All rights to image remain with current holders.

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Tagged as Atomic Junkshop, let no man put asunder, Local Reporter

August 25, 2026 · 5:02 am

The ending of the book (and what came before)

As I mentioned last Friday, the second draft of Let No Man Put Asunder is now done. Though technically I suppose it’s more like the eighth draft: this is a rewrite of a novel I finished in the 1990s, which was a rewrite of my second novel from back in the 1980s. The title has remained, nothing else is the same.

(As I don’t have any book-relevant illustrations, the photos will be random)

Okay, one thing remained the same, the core concept of two people, an older woman and a younger man, meeting and forming a telepathic link, one that downloaded all their memories into each other. The original 1980s version had them pretty happy before things began to happen; I went with “ordinary person caught up in a deadly dangerous game” rather than “protagonist with a personal problem resolves it by getting caught up in a deadly dangerous game.”

The 1990s rewrite made everything considerably weirder and more imaginative as they wandered through various nightmare worlds running from the mercenaries hired by their mysterious, unknown enemy. In the 1980s version, their enemy saw them as a threat and wanted them dead; at the climax he turns out to have a weakness that isn’t set up in advance. The 1990s take established he’s a psionic who kills anyone he sees as a threat to his power — and that’s pretty much anyone with similar abilities. His weakness is that he’s always struck and killed swiftly and never learned to fight a protracted battle; when my protagonists, Adrienne and Neil, confront him at the climax, they survive long enough that his confidence cracks. For someone whose powers stem from his force of will, that proved a fatal weakness.

The reason Adrienne and Paul were a threat remained the same in both versions. It doesn’t work for Paul and Mandy in the current version. The Community of All is simply too big and too powerful a foe, with different motivations … so why were they a threat to it? And how could they beat it?

Suffice to say, I figured it out. There is a reason the Community is hunting them down. And I think it works. Having found an ending to the plot, however, I still need one more draft. I need to sharpen the character arcs — both Paul and Mandy are in worse places at the start than Adrienne and Neil were. And I’m not sure those character arcs end satisfactorily. The 1990s version was Part One of a duology; this ending makes the book a standalone. The adventure is over, their immediate problems have been resolved, but I still want to show where they’re heading next. Paul, for example, was supposed to end up in a relationship with one of the supporting characters: this draft that didn’t happen, though I may change that back.

In September I’ll read over the story and take notes, then start mapping out what needs to happen — beats in the character arc, and the like. I’m tentatively optimistic I can finish by the end of the year and then send it out for beta reading, alongside getting the final proofing done on Watching Jekyll and Hyde.

Wish me luck.

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August 21, 2026 · 4:30 pm

One big accomplishment, several little ones

The big one being that I finished the second draft of Let No Man Put Asunder. Last week I got past a major sticking point but I still had some doubts about the ending; last weekend I figured it out (having TYG off work last week so we were both more relaxed was a big help, I think). Monday and Tuesday I got it done. Several months later than I’d hoped, but even so, yay!

I’d hoped it would be in good enough shape to offer for a beta reading, but no, not quite. It needs at least one more draft which even assuming it goes really well means it would be finished shortly before holiday season. So no feedback session until next year. Less speedy than I’d like — on the other hand, it’s faster than I was beginning to fear it would be.

(There’s no pet news other than “they’re adorable” but I figured I’d throw in a couple of photos anyway).

The little stuff? I got a lot of work done on the Local Reporter stories for next month’s issue. Submitted some pet insurance forms, mostly for their regular drugs. Resolved an IRS issue — happily it’s in our favor. And worked on Savage Adventures. This made the days kind of scattershot, which isn’t good; I always work better when I have one thing to focus on a day. But things like taxes need to be done.

I was, however, somewhat bummed by money. There was a columnist gig I think I’d have been good for but they wanted pitches — suggestions for the kinds of things I’d write for them — and the job got snapped up before I could figure out the kind of specific things they’d like. I discovered I’d missed another opportunity that might have been lucrative. And of course, not knowing I could bill our pet insurance for drugs means several years of lost reimbursements (I’ve recovered quite a bit of that but my records don’t go back for enough for all of it). This doesn’t leave us in desperate straits but more money is nice. Particularly earning more money.

Over at Atomic Junk Shop I blogged about the Bronze Age love of reprints — a very big deal in an era long before TPBs and omnibuses were available everywhere. And about one of the Bronze Age’s problems being how often creative teams turned over.

Plus over the past two months I’ve sold around eight copies of Southern Discomfort. Not a lot of money but it is very pleasing enough people were interested to try my book. I’m also pleased that promoting it more than I think I did Questionable Minds paid off, at least a little. Something to think about for when my next book comes out. To everyone who bought it, thanks!

And if you’re eager to learn more about me — and who isn’t, really? — you can check out my interview with Michael Parks.

Cover by Samantha Collins. Rights are mine.

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Tagged as Atomic Junkshop, jekyll and hyde, let no man put asunder, Local Reporter

August 14, 2026 · 4:29 pm

You mean if I take time off, I get less done?

TYG is on vacation this week. She’s completely relaxed, which means I’m much more relaxed. Not that I’m normally stressed out but it’s always surprising how much of a difference it makes.

This weekend she’s taking part of the vacation at a local hotel, as she’s done the past couple of years. As I stay close to home to watch the pets I wouldn’t get to the new Spider-Man movie this weekend and our schedule didn’t permit it last weekend. So TYG suggested I go mid-week, and I did. So most of Wednesday was not productive (though it was fun — review tomorrow). Yesterday we had the housekeepers in it, which sucks up time (you try creating when you’re sitting and trying to calm cats about the strangers in the house), plus I had a couple of errands to run.

However … I did get some good work done. More on Savage Adventures. And finally, some fiction. I sat down Monday evening, started work on Let No Man Put Asunder and did more Tuesday. I’d been frozen at the point where the late-book plot of the previous draft absolutely no longer works as I’ve changed a key detail. Suddenly I was able to get past it. It doesn’t work as well as the last draft yet but it’s fixable. Or I can go back to the old approach, though I probably won’t.

I’m tentatively optimistic I can wrap up this draft by Aug. 31. Though I’ll need at least one more draft before I submit it for beta-reading.

That’s pretty much all I got done but it’s quite a good thing to have gotten done.

Also Con-Tinual has posted my panels on that old TV classic, The Night Stalker and on getting your fictional settings right to Facebook.

Cover by Steve Ditko, all rights to image remain with current holder.

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Tagged as let no man put asunder, Savage Adventures

July 10, 2026 · 4:30 pm

So where did I misplace my mojo this week?

I’m honestly not sure, but whenever I sat down to work, my creative juices were not flowing.

Stuff which didn’t require creativity went fine. I finished the draft of Savage Adventures, which is not a small thing. One more draft should do it, a combined line edit with fact-checking (did I get the names of all the characters right, for instance). However I wanted to make progress on fiction as well and my mind just balked.

Short stories? No idea how to progress.

Rewrite of Let No Man Put Asunder? Ditto.

I did take the beginnings of two new untitled stories I worked on last week and share them with the writing group. The feedback satisfied me they’re worth working on and some of the suggestions were interesting (could they be part of the same novel? Probably not but if I could think of a way …). That was it, though.

I also didn’t do as well as usual with our dogs’ home PT care, or my own exercise regimen for that matter.

I did find that if I concentrate my various non-writing tasks — errands, bills, submissions to our pet insurance, Trupanion — in the first hour of work this gets them taken care of and lets me concentrate better the rest of the day. That helped with Savage Adventures at least.

Part of it may be that I’m still sleep-deprived — a couple of bad nights, no nights quite good enough to catch up. Plush Dudley being extremely restless is a big part of it. Sometimes I think he just likes to sleep on my side of the bed and he knows if he makes enough trouble, I’ll have to move and try to sleep in the spare bedroom. Wicked boy.

He’s so stinking cute, though.

Part of the problem may be that I haven’t had much break from our various pets the past month and a half, except when I’m out running errands. Over time it erodes my personal space and that does get draining.

I did get to attend my Genre Book Club, as I discussed over at Atomic Junk Shop. That was fun. And I had lunch with one of my writing friends, the first time I’ve managed that in a while.

Tune in next week for (hopefully) a better result! Cover by James Bama, all rights to image remain with current holder.

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Filed under Doc Savage, Nonfiction, Personal, Short Stories, Southern Discomfort, Story Problems, The Dog Ate My Homework, Time management and goals, Writing

Tagged as Atomic Junkshop, Savage Adventures

July 3, 2026 · 5:15 pm

Cats, borders, knees, writing, blood! My week in review

First the blood: Saturday I made my regular donation to the Red Cross. They’ve remodeled their facility and I was the first “power red” (double dose of red blood cells) donor there. I wrapped up just a little too soon for someone from the regional HQ to photograph me, darn it. That would have been kind of cool.

Tuesday, it was cat day: time to take Snowdrop in for his wellness exam and shots. He’s way harder to cage for the trip than Wisp; she’ll let us pick her up which gives us a chance to shove her in. Snow’s less trusting. However I got a dose of gabapentin — painkiller that also makes ’em sleepy — into him with a small morning meal. That left him just groggy enough to load into a cat carrier. He’s mostly in good shape, however he does have a heart murmur. Those can be bad in cats so we’re waiting to see what the labwork says.

Minor bonus, they applied his topical heartworm/flea med so we don’t have to do that again for two months.

Borders: as I type this, the theme I use for this blog has suddenly dropped the illustration on the vertical borders so there’s nothing but the image at the top. Maybe it’s a temporary thing and it’s gone by now. Maybe I’ll have to change themes because the brown border looks dreadful. I haven’t had a chance to do anything about it yet.

Knees: Tuesday, after TYG brought Snowdrop home, I went to physical therapy. Nothing major but my left knee gives me twinges in certain positions. I’d like it to stop. The therapist gave me a set of exercises which I’ve been working on. Too soon for any miracle cures, though. I also got a sleep apnea kit in the mail — my doctor thought that might relate to my recurrent insomnia — and I spent three nights with a testing kit on, making me feel like a cyborg. My grimace below is because I also felt like Hannibal Lector in his muzzle in Silence of the Lambs.

I slept better than I expected with that thing on. However it was choppy, which contributed to my tiredness for some of the week. Plus the pets were needier than usual. Still I got some good stuff done. Articles for The Local Reporter on Carrboro’s 2027 budget and the drought’s impact on Carrboro (not up yet). That took up Monday and Tuesday.

Wednesday I tackled the next chapter of Let No Man Put Asunder. Didn’t go well. The changes I’m making are good but they’re the kind that require further changes — if the sinister Community of All simply puts everyone in Bluestone in a stoned trance, Mandy doesn’t have the conflict of fighting innocent mind-controlled people. It still works better and fits the Community’s strange goals; however I have no idea what comes next. And Wednesday I was most tired.

Thursday I worked on “Die and Let Live.” It’s steadily improving but ends up way too talky as Colin and Deadbeat explain what’s been happening and everyone debates ethics. Either I shift some of that material earlier in the story, I come up with a more dramatic ending or both (ideally both).

I also got the first scene of a new story. My mind generated several new details: one character, Claire, comes from the town of Riddle Grove where her family lives at Enigma Towers. And their last name, Maistery, sounds a lot like “Mystery” if you say it aloud. Her estranged best friend notes the pattern and decides they’ll make a joke about it later. I have no idea what it means but it isn’t anything funny. So my mind’s clearly engaged — not enough to figure out what comes next yet.

Today was, as usual, devoted to next week’s blog posts, planning what to write, and emptying my in-box. Plus we took Trixie and Plushie in for some shots and, as Plushie’s been walking wobbly recently, asked the vet about it. She says he might have some back pain and recommended upping his gabapentin dose for now. Makes sense as we lowered it a couple of months back. We’ll see if it helps.

What made the visit memorable is that Plushie expressed his displeasure by pooping on the exam room floor. And then several alarmingly runny poops after that. Hopefully it’s just a momentary lapse and not the return of his dread diarrhea. We’ll see.

And now for something completely cool, author’s copies of Southern Discomfort arrived this week.

Cover by Samantha Collins. All rights are mine.

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Tagged as let no man put asunder, Local Reporter, snowdrop

June 26, 2026 · 4:01 pm

Not a stellar week but I didn’t collapse into a black hole either

A combination of things slowed me down this week: invoices to submit to our insurer, Trixie having a recheck exam, having the cleaners in. That means spending two to three hours shut in with the cats and Trixie to ensure the cats don’t react to strangers in the house by bolting out. It’s a possibility, particularly with Snowdrop, as he’s still skittish after 18 months as an indoor cat.

I’m also having some odd twinges in one knee. Nothing serious but I set up a PT appointment for next week. Oh, and one problem that eats away at my time — a few minutes here, a few minutes there — is that Plushie is refusing to eat his meds on the food or treats we normally give him. We have a limited range of options as eating anything with fat would trigger his pancreatitis and related diarrheal problems. It took twice as long as last week to get the drugs into him. TYG and I are both quoting that line from A Christmas Story, “Every family has a child who won’t eat.”

I got some advance work done on my two Local Reporter articles for next week. Beyond that, I only wrote 6,500 words on the redraft of Let No Man Put Asunder. That’s primarily because I hit a tough point: the chapters I worked on this week were way too talky and slow in the previous draft. I knew that; I knew what would happen once the action kicks in; I did not know what should replace the slow, talky bits. That led to a couple of hours of dithering and not writing and only sort-of thinking about writing.

Eventually I reminded myself that I had to write something so I might as well bite the bullet; if it didn’t work, I’d rewrite. I accelerated the Community of All’s attack on the city of Bluestone, cutting out a lot of the talk. I used a teleportation spell to throw Paul and Mandy into the middle of the trouble without any “what should we do?” discussion. Coupled with some other changes, I think it works much better.

That was pretty much it. I can’t tell you how good it feels to write fiction and know I’ve made at least one small step toward finishing this draft. Hopefully more steps on more fiction next week.

Oh, and New Myths is holding my story “Honey on the Grave” as a contender for one of next year’s issues. Not an acceptance but the first non-rejection I’ve had in a while.

On that note, have a great weekend.

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Tagged as let no man put asunder, snowdrop

May 27, 2026 · 5:15 am

Southern Discomfort: better with beta readers

I think Southern Discomfort is a terrific book, though I freely concede that I’m biased. I do not, however, take all the credit for it. My beta readers on the book have been invaluable. These include the Durham Science Fiction/Fantasy Writing Group, writer & friend Michele Berger, writer & friend Cindy Holbrook and TYG offered some insights at one point in the process. Maggie Prestwood of the group gave me an extra final beta editing that helped a lot.

I’m good at editing myself and spotting problems but I’m not infallible; I doubt anyone is. That’s particularly true with a work of around 90,000 words. In a short story there’s a limit to how much I can mess up; with a novel there’s more scenes so more opportunity to make mistakes. Get a name wrong. Forget that someone wears glasses or that they have a distinctive way of phrasing everything.

Beta reading isn’t just about catching mistakes, however. It’s about making a story better. Many drafts back, 2nd Lt. and former Army nurse Maria Esposito starts out with no intention of sticking around Pharisee, the strange Southern town in which she’s been captured. After a kelpie attacks and almost kills someone, she’s horrified enough to stay and fight the mystery threat.

The consensus from the writing group: not convincing. Maria simply doesn’t have enough reason to stand and fight for people she doesn’t know, given the risks (death or a 20-year federal sentence) facing her. They were right; I rewrote so Maria spends more than half the book trying to run from Pharisee. When she does change her mind, the stakes are higher and its both more dramatic and more believable. This makes her less likable — she’s looking out for number one for most of the novel — but it works better.

I think it was Michele who suggested another improvement. During the segregation era, Olwen and Aubric McAlister didn’t allow violence against the county’s black population, though they did accept Jim Crow as the law of the land (an acceptance some of the black community were not pleased with). Blacks traveling through Georgia could stop in Pharisee and know they wouldn’t be assaulted. Michele pointed out this would probably be mentioned in the Green Book, the celebrated guide for black travelers on where it was safe, or wasn’t, to stop.

I incorporated this idea into the book. The Green Cafe run by one of the wealthier black families — and named to tie in with Green Book — is a storied spot; black entertainers traveling through the South knew they could stop overnight in Pharisee without trouble so a lot of them booked shows there. It’s not essential to the plot but it adds to the world-building.

Another of my betas — I don’t remember which — had issues with a key reveal in the plot, involving a favor Olwen McAlister did for Sheriff Slattery and his family. She thought it put Olwen in a bad light. After thinking about it, I realized that while Olwen does several morally compromised things, this one didn’t fit. I reworked it.

I’ll have more to say about beta reading next week. Southern Discomfort cover by Samantha Collins, all rights to cover images remains with current holders.

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May 8, 2026 · 4:17 pm

A Charleston fountain plus a week in review

I still haven’t uploaded all the Charleston vacation photos so today you get to see the Pineapple Fountain we visited in a waterfront park. When it was built, being able to import and serve pineapples was a mark of wealth and Charleston was both a hub of trade and a wealthy city.

The fountain, with my sister wading in it. Birds did that too.

After a frustrating April, this week went well, despite taking time off Monday to visit Costco. With god knows what about to happen to our economy due to the Toddler’s stupid Iran war, TYG and I figured picking up some bulk supplies now might be wise.

I wrote 6,000 words on the current draft of Let No Man Put Asunder, despite the fact I’m having to change a lot more of the book. As I realized last month, Mandy’s character arc isn’t strong enough. I’ve added a couple of scenes this section that will help with that; hopefully more will come to mind as I move forward. However I also realized I cut out some scenes where she realizes whatever magical transformation she’s undergone is compelling her to quit smoking, something she’s not happy about. It simply looks like halfway through the book she stopped lighting up. I’ll have to go back and fix that.

I rewrote the short story Honey on the Grave and it looks good. I’m reading for the writing group next week; we’ll see what they make of it. If it’s got problems I can’t see, they’ll spot them. I also reread Die and Let Live and started restructuring it so that it’s less of a talk and exposition fest. I haven’t actually written the changes — there’s places where I’ve no idea what to replace the exposition with — but diagnosing what needs to change is the first step. I also reread my short story Inherit the Howling Night (title very much a placeholder) and I want to work on that one next. It has substantial problems — no good ending, no idea of the lead character’s arc, protagonist is a writer and “struggling writer” is a character type that rarely works for me — however I’m starting to see fixes (character may become an actor instead).

I got some work done on The Savage Years and my cover is almost ready to go for Southern Discomfort. It’s just technical stuff like formatting to make it work on the Amazon paperback. I should have a release date soon and hopefully will have some copies in hand at ConGregate this summer. Details soon.

I also got my first article in at The Local Reporter in the new monthly format, a longish one on why Chapel Hill/Carrboro is looking at school closures.