Undead Sexist Cliche: Patriarchy is a sign of a healthy society

The New York Times recently ran a spectacular article on the right-wing’s anti-diversity, anti “woke” movement. I am not shocked that the real issues are not merit or equality but white supremacy, homophobia and male supremacy. And of course anti-anti-racism.

While there’s more to dissect than I have time for, I’ll focus on a conversation one of the right-wingers, Scott Yenor, who thinks feminism makes women ““more medicated, meddlesome and quarrelsome than women need to be.” When an editor at the right-wing Catholic journal First Things suggested changing the language in an article Yenor submitted — e.g., ““Our sexual culture will not be healed until we once again agree that homosexuality belongs in the closet and that a healthy society requires patriarchy.” — Yenor said those words expressed his views, though he went with more restrained language.

Suffice to say, Yenor and his editor are full of shit.

Patriarchy is not a sign of a healthy society. No society which restricts the rights and freedom of half the population is truly healthy. And it’s actually more than half — American patriarchy has a history of looking down its nose at men who become stay-at-home dads or clean house; some Christian conservatives are adamant this is a fundamental violation of gender roles. That’s a malfunctioning, unhealthy culture. Complementarian John Piper, for instance, insists men and women must fill their John Piper-ordained gender roles regardless of competence. That may make him feel more secure in his manhood but it’s not good for society.

And while Yenor’s fee-fees may be hurt by women being “meddlesome and quarrelsome” (I hear the subtext as “they no longer accept second-class status quietly! What am I if my penis doesn’t grant me superiority?”) that’s just a restatement of the old Undead Sexist Cliche that women are just sooo irrationally angry. Spoiler: it ain’t irrational. And the side pushing against hierarchy and for equality is always the right side. Human, sure, flawed, but always right.

Contrary to Yenor, the effects of  patriarchy, by contrast, are toxic, for example introducing men to a world where they get benefits and respect out of proportion to their worth. One of the whines about diversity is that it’s just giving jobs to people who don’t deserve them; as I’ve said before people who make this argument wouldn’t bat an eye at being back a century ago when unqualified white men could legally get into college or jobs or promotions ahead of more qualified women (and POC, of course, and often Jews). Hierarchy is a toxic, addictive drug: small wonder that men cling to privilege, particularly when they know they haven’t earned it (as Fred Clark points out). You have to man the barricades that much harder when the barricades have no just reason to exist.

Patriarchy encourages rape culture. It encourages believers to support the right of men to beat their wives.  It encourages men to preen at getting laid while slut-shaming the women. None of this is healthy. “Patriarchy knows what’s best for women” is a standard undead sexist cliche; what goes unsaid is that if women disagree their square peg will be forced into a round hole anyway.

And let’s not forget, patriarchy makes believers stupid. It requires believing a great deal of stuff that isn’t true — that women are too emotional to be smart, that women aren’t as competent as men, that sexism isn’t a problem, that sexual double standards aren’t misogynist. No system is healthy that requires people turn off their brains and believe that which is not so.

For more on patriarchy feel free to check out my Undead Sexist Cliches, available as a Amazon paperback, an ebook and from several other retailers.