As I’ve mentioned before, the belief that society can’t exist without hierarchy — is one of the obstacles to equality. If you believe one race/religion/gender/orientation must rank over others, then equality is impossible: feminists and civil rights activists really want to turn the tables and make women and POC the superior class. Hence the many stories I’ve read over the years where women’s equality translates into men reduced to slavery or at least being forced to stay home and clean all day.
On top of which, patriarchy makes men stupid. It tells them a system that’s still predominantly shaped to their needs and interests is right and natural — they deserve to be in charge, to not be slut-shamed the way women are, to have their wife or partner handle most of the cooking, cleaning and childcare. It’s awfully tempting not to question a system that tells you something like that. And as Celeste Davis points out in some of her posts at Matriarchal Blessing, equality gains women status and power compared to patriarchy. For men it’s not only that equality feels like oppression, it’s that if they’re doing “women’s work” or filling a “woman’s role” then they’re no longer Real Men. Not to mention their buddies might make fun of them for being girly. As Davis says, it’s difficult for men to swim against that tide.
However there’s more to the tide than merely guys not wanting equality. As Susan Faludi pointed out 35 years ago, the backlash against feminism has been consistent and ongoing since the 1980s. A lot of that backlash is directed at women but a lot of it preaches to men too. It assures them there’s no need to listen to women — they’re so irrationally angry.
The religious right in the 1980s began preaching the women belong in the kitchen. The Reagan administration pined for the 1950s, when men had their (supposedly) rightful place as family head (an illusion that lives on today). When sexual harassment became a legal concept, there were plenty of articles about how men were miserable at work, terrified of being sued; there were a lot fewer articles about women feeling safer. Rush Limbaugh preached the evils of all things liberal, including feminism, and like many conservative pundits claimed a woman’s no can mean yes. Warren Farrell’s Myth of Male Power claimed men are the truly oppressed gender and presented rape as a woman having “more sex than expected,” the equivalent of eating too many potato chips at a sitting.
Gen Z men are more sexist than Boomers and Gen X, longing for a marriage where they’re the boss (though apparently a wife working outside the home and acting tradwife inside it is their idea) and bring home a breadwinner wage. Never mind that even in the 1950s, not everyone had a breadwinner wage or lived in a one-earner family; in the 21st century economy, it’s even less likely. Which Noosphere at the link suggests is one reason men long for a home in which they can have the authority and status that’s their due.
There is no shortage of influencers, pundits and online shitbags to tell them this. Matt Walsh, Allie Beth Stuckey, Suzanne Venker, Andrew Tate, James Taranto at the Wall Street Journal. Plenty of others who will insist white men can’t get jobs any more. Extremists like neo-Nazi Andrew Anglin who use misogyny as a marketing tool. The Heritage Foundation embraces it as policy. Mainstream voices who think incels have a point when they demand the redistribution of women. Or claim that women had more liberty in the 1800s. Or that AI will improve men’s prospects because it will take women’s jobs first.
The religious right’s positions haven’t gotten any less misogynist: they’re shiny, happy people who preach absolute male authority as the will of god. It’s easy to focus on slime like Andrew Tate; this shit is equally harmful. No surprise Joseph Duggar (brother to infamous sibling-molester Josh) has been accused of sexual activity with a minor. Bethel Church prophet (their designation, not mine) Ben Armstrong allegedly sexually abused a 23 year old years ago, describing himself as “her spiritual father.” The church later portrayed it as an “affair.” William Wolfe is a Southern Baptist who wants to impose his Christian morality on everyone; by his standards allowing women to preach is a much more serious problem than the church’s rape-and-cover-up scandal. He clams his views are God’s views; if that were true (I do not believe God is a misogynist rape-apologist), then I think it’s time to say, a la Huckleberry Finn, “Stop the rapes and go to hell for it.” It’s not surprising more Christian women seek help from therapists than pastors.
Not that Christianity is unique. All kinds of power structures give men the power to abuse women; women in similar positions can abuse their subordinates but it doesn’t seem to be as common (i.e., power matters but gender appears to matter too). Legendary labor leader Cesar Chavez abused women and assaulted underage girls; he was a power in his movement and it went unchecked. Hispanics who admired him are now having to deal with his evil side. Kevin Levin looks at how schools named for Chavez should approach the issue. Columnist Gustavo Arellano discusses separating the man from the cause.
Talking about Chavez, Jill Filopovic looks at another form of backlash, the claims women are really the ones in power (Farrell built his whole book around that premise): “It’s bullshit. And this insistence on eclipsing where real power lies and how real power manifests is precisely why men like Chavez got away with horrific crimes, and with many smaller indignities and acts of misogyny. This denial of small-time interpersonal misogyny is how we get denials of horrific abuses — a good man would never believe himself to be more powerful than his wife; a good man would never harm the girls and women around him; being honest about what we see in front of us would create a fissure in a good family, bring down a good movement.”
Endless propaganda doesn’t excuse those who buy into it. None of what I’ve said excuses Epstein, Cosby, or the countless unnamed rapists, harassers and misogynists we never hear about. At the same time, I do believe the problem with achieving equality runs deeper than an innate male resistance to change.
