JULIA JEKYLL AND HARRIET HYDE was a 1990s BBC kidcom in which Julia (Olivia Hallinan) is an 11 year old science nerd and a perfect angel, always happy to make life easier for everyone from parents to schoolteachers (it’s to Hallinan’s credit she’s able to make Julia likable to the audience). Then a school bully tampers with Julia’s new elixir and the result is her randomly turning into seven foot tall Harriet Hyde.
The idea of sweet little Julia having a troublemaker hidden inside her could have been fun. Instead the show treats it like a personal embarrassment, nothing more — if Julia broke out in unsightly zits, the plot wouldn’t change much. Still, it lasted for three seasons on the Beeb. “Now drink up and I’ll put that door back on its hinges.”
NIGHT GALLERY was Rod Serling’s 1970s follow up to The Twilight Zone. It was a frustrating experience for Sterling, who discovered the network (NBC) wanted his name but not the distinctive touch he’d brought to his earlier classic. This episode has Alex Cord desperately trying to find a beautiful woman (Keep In Touch … We’ll Think of Something), a woman apparently walling her husband up alive (The Merciful) and in With Apologies to Mr. Hyde, Adam West quaffing a certain potion …nothing unwatchable, nothing that stands out, either. “I keep telling you, go easy on the vermouth!”
The title comes from a 5th Dimension song about spring eventually banishing winter and love eventually brightening someone’s life. I quoted it because I’ve been thinking a lot about time this past week or so.
As I’ve blogged about a couple of times, going back to an eight-hour work day has proven successful, more so if I force myself to take regular breaks (I’m bad about that) and to put the computer down at the end of the day. But this week I came to realize that’s been balanced out by my morning schedule going belly up.
Normally I get up, read, pet cats, have breakfast and work for an hour (not in that order). A little after that, TYG comes down with the dogs. If I wake up early, I put in more time. The past couple of weeks, I’ve been more inclined to lie in the bed for a while when I wake up in the middle of the night. That’s understandable but it means I lose time, and inevitably I’m going to take naps later in the day.
The bigger problem is that TYG is putting in more work in the early morning. Typically she lets Trixie come down first, then comes down herself with Plushie, anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour later. That means we do the dog-care stuff later, followed by walkies and then I start the rest of the work day.
Theoretically if we start an hour later I should have an hour of extra work in before we start. Somehow it doesn’t happen, and so I wind up losing anywhere from an hour to 90 minutes of morning time. I think part of it is that this is a relatively new development so I still don’t anticipate the delay. I wind up not jumping back into work after cuddling Trixie because I assume it’s not going to be that long. Oops. Fortunately this is fixable; next week I shall fix it (I did pretty well this morning).
I’ve also noticed I’ve stopped paying attention to my monthly and yearly to do lists. That’s a combination of two factors I suspect. One is that a lot of items on the monthly list stay constant, like the amount I donate to charity every month, buying food for a local food bank, getting exercise daily. Another is that my writing goals are simple at the moment: write my Local Reporter stories, write Jekyll and Hyde, and that’s it. It’ll change when Sam finishes the cover for Southern Discomfort but until then, it’s pretty simple. And I keep a lot of small daily goals (exercise, putting the dogs through their exercises, remembering to apply sunscreen) in my notebook rather than on the computer.
Even before that, though, I’ve been paying less attention. Which is bad because when I’m not in rush-to-finish mode I have multiple projects a month, from actual writing to finding places to submit stories to paying sales tax. I will lose track, trust me. Clearly I need a new process. Whether that’s putting more stuff in the notebook, setting aside time to review the goals or what, I don’t know yet.
That said, how well did I use my time this week? Okay, I guess. I had lunch with a friend, an errand to get doggie drugs and one to get a minor car repair dealt with. Plus I voted.
Once again Local Reporter work sucked up a little too much time. I got one story in — an update on Carrboro’s business loan program — but the multiple other inquiries I sent out got bupkiss results? That meant I spent a good deal of time hunting for an idea for a second story, with no success. Wasted, unprofitable time. Though the inquiries should still pay off down the road.
And I did an interview this afternoon with a 98-year-old woman who’s published a book of reminiscences. She was a hoot — I’ll link to the story when it comes out.
On Jekyll and Hyde, I got every movie slotted into one or the other chapter. That will make rewriting simpler and reduces the chance I missed anything. Some of the chapters will have to be reorganized eventually but it’s a good step forward. I watched more of Dark Shadows‘ parallel world plotline and some episodes of Julia Jekyll and Harriet Hyde, a BBC kids’ comedy from the 1990s. Definitely thought I’d get more done. Once again I didn’t get any Atomic Junkshop posts written.
Oh, and I read a section of the book to my writers’ group. As usual the feedback was excellent.
And so the week ends. As you’ve probably guessed, all the illustrations but Trixie are time-themed. Photos from The Time Machine and Summer Time Machine Blues, comics cover by Curt Swan, paperback cover by Richard Powers. All rights to images remain with current holders.
DR. JEKYLL AND MR. HYDE AFTER ONE HUNDRED YEARS is a collection of essays about the significance of the novel, what Stevenson was trying to say, how earlier drafts of the novel compare to the finished work and more. Most of it, unfortunately, cries out for the Pooh Perplex treatment — it’s very heavy on Freudian analysis (I thought that was dead and buried by the 1980s but obviously not) such as the reveal Mr. Hyde is small because he embodies Dr. Jekyll’s inadequate penis. I am … unconvinced. However there are some interesting bits of discussion so it was worth the effort.
Barring some obscurity I’ve not heard about, THE STRANGE CASE OF DR. JEKYLL AND MR. HYDE (2006) is probably my last film for the book, not counting rewatches (there’s still TV). It is, alas, a poor one to go out on. Reflecting the era when nanotech was the superscience that would change anything, Jekyll (Tony Todd) is a researcher dying of heart disease; as he can’t wait the three years to complete animal testing he injects himself covertly, creating the viciously bestial, acromegalic-looking Mr. Hyde (Todd tested the treatment on a chimpanzee so logically it turns him into an ape-man … that makes sense, right?) who hunts down women, rips them to pieces, then has sex with the corpse.
Todd is good but this is very slasher film and has a huge amount of idiot plot. For example, Jekyll transforms into Hyde during a closed-door session with his boss, whom Hyde kills — why does everyone assume “Oh, Jekyll must have left before this Hyde came by, which somehow none of us in the outer office noticed?” Tracy Scoggins plays Detective Utterson; Tim Thomerson is wasted as a sardonic medical examiner. “I haven’t had a relationship with god in a long time — but on the other hand, I’ve had more than few glimpses of the devil.”
Cover by Jack Kirby, all rights to image remain with current holder.
As I’ve observed many times before, average weeks exist because some weeks are much better, some worse. As far as writing went, this was “worse.”
First, to tackle the stuff you’re really curious about, Plushie is adapting better than we hoped to his current disabled status. The new harness we bought lets him enjoy his short walks, and we can lift him out of the car when we visit the vet relatively easily. Okay, TYG lifts him; while my bursitis is much improved, 20lbs of floof dog is not something I should be hauling around whereas her workouts have given her some muscle.
He barks with surprising vigor at times but he’ll calm down once I sit in the cage with him (the advantages of a laptop and lap desk!). Then he drifts off into sleep and I go back to the couch.
Plush Dudley aside, I felt very off this week. TYG did too, a little — as we both got our vaccines for the fall last week (covid and flu) we wondered if the shots hit us worse than usual. Wednesday, for me, was execrable. My relatively simple Local Reporter article (on Carrboro’s Green Neighborhood grants) was a slog and I didn’t get much writing accomplished after that. Happily I woke Thursday feeling back to normal. However I still had a bunch more crap getting in the way of writing.
Getting Plushie’s CCL tear covered by insurance, which required talking to our vet (who was awesome) and having them talk to the insurer (the dialog is ongoing). Going to the glaucoma specialist and discovering that the fluid circulation in my eye is a problem (the channel for flushing fluid out is way narrow) that she recommends laser surgery. Then double-checking our insurance will cover it. The first “advocate” didn’t call back, the second sent me to someone else (and the wrong someone else), the third was actually helpful.
Due to changes to our federal tax return, I have to file an amended state tax return, as the IRS recalculated our adjusted gross income (it works out in our favor). There were a bunch of other, less important paperwork chores I caught up on this week, mostly on Wednesday. Annoyingly, one or two tasks such as going to the dealer for a minor car malfunction will have to wait until next week — it would have been much smoother to deal with them all and start next week fresh.
So not much writing to talk about. I did some work on Jekyll and Hyde but not as much as I anticipated.
I did get a couple of Atomic Junkshop posts up, one on Satanism in Bronze Age comics, one on the Silver Age debut of The Phantom Stranger. Above, the Neal Adams cover from the second post; below, Mike Sekowsky’s killer splash page from a Supergirl story.
I also spent part of today on a rush article for The Local Reporter covering the possibility of Hurricane Imelda hitting here — even heavy rain would be disastrous, it’s a very floodable area. But neither story is up yet.
I thought I’d wrapped up my Southern Discomfort bibliography but I remembered one more book, Birth of the Chess Queen by Marilyn Yalom.
A major plot point in Southern Discomfort is when Gwalchmai and Olwen agree to settle their blood feud with a chess game; whoever wins, they strike the other’s head off. Maria, hearing this, thinks Olwen’s nuts but the elf replies that she’s been playing for centuries, both the classic game and the new “queen’s chess.”
That throwaway bit was inspired by Yalom’s book. As she details, the king’s companion in the earliest chess sets was the vizier, a piece that moved one square diagonally. When chess reached Europe, the vizier became the queen but still had only one diagonal square per move. Many variant forms of chess sprang up, however, and the one that one out had the queen as the powerful piece she is today; Yalom sees that as tying in to the medieval presence of strong queens such as Eleanor of Aquitane. It’s a good book and added a nice little detail to my novel, showing that Olwen is, from the human POV, really, really old.
JEKYLL (2007) stars Middleman‘s Matt Keeslar as a scientist on the brink of marriage, struggling to balance his research time with his fiancee and her father’s insistent demands he move into more lucrative private practice. Jekyll is obsessed with the idea that if we could tap into our minds, we could unleash an inner healing power (reminiscent of the same “woo” in Jekyll and Hyde … Together Again). After an encounter with a sexy stripper at his bachelor party, what he unleashes with his computer mind-adjuster is, of course, Hyde (due to the videogame being played on the same computer, he dons the requisite Victorian look).
This didn’t quite work for me though I’m not sure why. It may be something as simple as having OD’ed on the story by this point, or that I watched it on the weekend (I’d normally be watching movies for fun). It’s well cast and the character bits are interesting. Jekyll’s fiancee is close to the kind of woman I thought Bess Armstrong would be in Together Again and it’s clear the Carew family dysfunction will mess Jekyll up if he marries her. Utterson is a woman, Jekyll’s BFF, and has some romantic interest in him too. Jekyll and Hyde bleed into each other more than usual: Hyde’s moved when he learns his mistress really cares about him and the feelings Jekyll normally represses start to bubble out even when he’s not Hyde. I’ll see what I think of it when I give it another look. “I think he went home. Normal people do that.”
Image from Through the Looking Glass by John Tenniel
Some weeks back, as I’ve blogged about I decided to push my day from seven writing hours to eight, with the fifth day for blogging and email. Surprisingly, despite the increased amount of care our pets need these days, it turned the end of the day from this hour when I do nothing to one that’s productive. As with most changes, there are downsides.
First off, I keep forgetting to take breaks. This makes it harder to get the non-writing stuff done — writing my GOTV postcards, calling contractors, catching up on non-writing paperwork, etc. — and also leaves me more exhausted at day’s end. Not good.
It’s particularly bad for working on Jekyll and Hyde because if I’m watching a movie or a TV show, the impulse to finish it and then take a break usually wins out. But then I just queue up the next episode or the next movie.
Not taking breaks means that I also don’t do my exercise. I’ve had to break my exercise periods down into five-minute bursts, occasionally ten minutes, as I’m usually watching the pets and they get in the way. Either Wisp assumes my body language means “I want to pet you.” or Trixie stares up at me wondering why I got off the couch and abandoned her.
She’s hard to say no to.
Setting a timer is a good way to make myself take breaks but I’m rotten about doing that. I need to start. Either the “pomodoro” method (five minutes every half hour) or the last 15 minutes of every hour. I do them both, erratically, and they both seem to work.
I can also get really bad about taking lunch breaks. It’s good to sit down, read, eat slowly but I keep rushing back to work. Still, I’ll get the hang of it.
My one day for blogging and emptying out email isn’t work as well as it did at the start, either. I’m not sure what the problem is. Well partly it’s that I’m active online on various blogs more and the comments add to the email but beyond that … I don’t know.
This week was reasonably productive despite a number of errands: car in for a minor repair, getting fall covid and flu shots before Secretary Brainworm shuts down the access, various paperwork stuffs that had to be done. The writing time went heavily to watching Dark Shadows‘ parallel world plotline, plus rewriting more of the book. I’m feeling more confident now that the chapters are taking shape (should have been shaping them sooner, but hindsight is 20/20 and all that).
On the Plush Dog front, he’s adapting well to walking in his harness and is reasonably quiet when he’s stuck in the cage alone (the gabapentin doses help, I’m sure).
Not an exciting week to talk about, but such is life. All rights to images remain with current holder. All-Star cover by Irwin Hasen.
My first encounter with Oscar Wilde’s THE PICTURE OF DORIAN GRAY was a dreadful audiobook that made Wilde’s refined aesthetes sound like horsey country squires. Reading it in print didn’t make me like it better.
For those who don’t know, Dorian is a shallow but beautiful young man; Basil, a talented painter with some decidedly homoerotic feelings for Dorian, has painted an exquisite portrait.of his friend. Basil’s cynical friend, Lord Henry Wotton, tells Dorian that while nothing is better than being pretty — it’s certainly worth more than thoughts or opinions — it will inevitably fade away and make Dorian dull and repellent. Dorian wishes that didn’t have to be so. Later, after he turns on a woman he thought he loved, she kills herself; he discovers his painted face now has cruel lines around the mouth. Dorian has the face of perpetual youth and innocence, no matter how badly he sins.
There’s an obvious similarity between Dorian and Henry Jekyll: both have found a way to hide their sins from the rest of the world, and thereby sin more. Though Dorian’s approach is obviously less effective: rumors and scandal swirl around him but nobody can really believe someone so charming is as black as he’s painted. My main interest in the book was the idea that Sir George in the 1920 John Barrymore Jekyll and Hyde is modeled on Lord Henry. I’ve run across this several times but I don’t think I buy it. They’re both encouraging the protagonist to sin but while Sir George is a libertine, I think he’d be appalled at Wotton’s constant cynicism; Wotton, unlike Sir George, talks a good game but never seems to do anything. Plus there’s a 1910 stage version that has both an adulterous Danvers Carew (the equivalent character to Sir George) so possibly that’s the real influence (it’s not as well known as the Wilde book, which may explain why nobody notices)
As to the book itself? Still insufferable. Wilde has great bon mots but Wotton tossing them off in a steady stream gets tedious, and there’s a huge chunk of the book devoted to exploring Dorian’s aesthetic interests, which I skimmed over (at least that’s easier to do than in an audiobook).
Like Victorian Demons, FICTIONS OF LOSS IN THE VICTORIAN FIN-DE-SIECLE: Identity and Empire by Stephen Arata deals with Victorian fears that men were becoming less manly (something we’re still obsessing over today, sigh), though focusing on fiction. H. Rider Haggard shows men conquering their weakness by heading out into the Empire. Dracula presents as the vanguard of a vampire master race ready to take over England. Sherlock Holmes shows the middle class is much less stable and sensible than they appear, from the dysfunctional family of A Case of Identity to the banker-turned-beggar in Man With the Twisted Lip (though Arata erroneously claims the murderous father of Adventure of the Speckled Band gets away with his crimes). Hyde and Dorian Gray are examples of the decadent aristocrat, both combining elegance and superb good taste with cruelty and sexual deviance. Like the other book hardly essential research reading, but still valuable.
Research viewing will probably dominate these movie-review posts for the next three months or so. This week one new film, one rewatch, and both of them suck.
JEKYLL + HYDE (2006) tells us in the opening crawl that med students Henry “Jay” Jekyll and Mary (Bryan Fisher, Katrina Mathews) have experimented on an ecstasy based personality-altering drug. You might think from that that Mary is a major character but no, she has two brief cameos, then she’s dead; Jay’s best friend Martha Utterson (Bree Turner) is the protagonist.
That’s typical of this movie which is filmed in non-linear fashion without the skill to make non-linear work. We open with Jay refusing to open the door to Martha while he deals with the bloody, half-dead woman in his bathtub … by finishing the job, then dissolving her with acid. Who was she? We never learn. Which is fair enough — Hyde does that sort of thing — but there’s no reference to her later, no consequence, nothing. In one scene, two of the students hook up in the morgue, then go home under the confused impression the other one has already left. It doesn’t advance the plot, doesn’t affect the plot, does nothing but fill space.
We don’t even know if Mary died from the experimental drug that’s turned Jay into sadistic party animal Hyde, or if it’s regular recreational drugs of which Jay, Martha and thir friends take quite a bit. We learn Jay’s motivation is “winning is why you play the game and that’s all there is” but not why he thinks that or how Hyde constitutes “winning.”
The movie feels like the theme is Kids Don’t Do Drugs; Martha comments at the end that this is a real story, not the first of its kind and definitely not the last. And if Jay had invented a designer party drug, it wouldn’t have affected the plot any. Calling this mediocre is charitable. “God is not a DJ, life is not a dance floor and while you’re searching for heaven, be careful you don’t find hell.”
SON OF DOCTOR JEKYLL (1951) hasn’t improved since the last time I watched it, but rewatching helped correct some errors in my review. The basic problem is that this is two plots that don’t mesh together. On the one hand we have Edward (Louis Hayward), orphaned son of Jekyll, learning about his ancestry and growing convinced he’s inherited a Hyde side; how can he marry his true love now?
On the other hand, we have a plot where the real horror is mass hysteria, mob violence, and the press whipping people into a frenzy. We’re told the mob creates monsters, that Hyde is a legend but Jekyll the man, even though we see Hyde in the opening death scene. Edward wants to prove his father wasn’t a madman so he attempts to recreate his famous formula — but how would proving his father really did transform into a monster help? This is random tropes thrown together (we learn Edward’s been working on Shocking — Shocking! experiments but the movie then forgets about it) to no good effect. “What’s real to me isn’t real to others — you know the name for that, of course.”
All rights to covers remain with current holders. My apologies for not knowing the artists.
Ever since Plushie developed glaucoma, TYG and I always have one person staying at home if the other is out of town. She’s worried (with reason) that a dogsitter wouldn’t be as conscientious about the drops and other meds, or could even keep track of them, or that some health problem will strike while we’re gone and there’ll be nobody here who makes “get him to the vet!” their priority.
And lo and behold, Sunday afternoon Plushie was running across the floor after coming in from lunch walk when he let out a help and began limping with his back left leg. When he didn’t put it back down it was obvious he hadn’t stepped on a piece of stabby cat litter or something so off we went to the emergency vet for 2.5 hours.
The bad news: CCL tear at the knee joint which is very common in older dogs (Trixie had one several years ago). Not going to heal. Vet seemed dubious about surgery, though not ruling it out. We went home, upped his pain meds and set up his cage again to keep him from running. And then off to our regular vet for their take.
TYG then had to read every worst-case scenario for this sort of thing and they were very worst-case. Monday though our regular vet called back after talking to the surgeons and said yes, surgery was feasible, recovery time probably wouldn’t be as bad as TYG feared. Plus Plushie’s starting to adapt. Plus we bought a harness that makes it possible to support his rear end while he walks outside to go potty.
It’s still a lot of added work caring for him; I spend a lot of time in the cage with him so he’s not miserable (Trixie, outside and alone, does not like this so there’s more time making it up to her). And our insurer doesn’t think this is covered; I’ll be appealing because while we could manage the cost of the surgery, we’d rather not.
So that was a week. Plus we had the housecleaners in and I don’t get much work done with four pets to watch over. We do not take any chances the cats freak out and bolt while the cleaners have the door open. However the cats have recently begun spending their days in the spare bedroom so instead of having to freak Snowdrop out by chasing him up there or carrying him, we simply walked up and shut the door. Woot! Hopefully he’ll be less traumatized this way. Working a caged dog around the cleaners was more of a challenge, but we managed it.
Plus I had an optometrist appointment Tuesday. New doctor — my old one retired — so even though my eye pressure is still low (I’ve been taking some of the same drops as Plushie for years), he’s sending me off to a glaucoma specialist to double check Possibly Maybe Troubling Signs (it’s also possible I’m doing so well I can lay off the glaucoma eye drops). I’m less worried at this point than annoyed at taking more time out of my work week for an appointment (but I’m not an idiot, so I’m taking the time). And because I had dilated eyes afterwards, it was a couple of hours before I could work on my computer comfortably.
Despite all of which, I got a full week of good work done. I rewrote the first two chapters of Jekyll and Hyde based on reading Victorian Demons. I added the 2007 Jekyll (covered at the same link) to my Descendants of Jekyll chapter and would have gone further but I may need to reconsider my chapter structure first. My original chapter breakdown doesn’t look adequate for figuring where some of these movies go. Oh, I also began watching Dark Shadows — the parallel-time arc includes a Jekyll/Hyde doctor (this came shortly after Dan Curtis produced the Jack Palance adaptation) so I watched the beginning of that storyline, right up to the moment the doctor appears. I’ll post a detailed review after I’ve seen the whole thing.
I wound up getting in three stories for The Local Reporter, which took up a lot of my time. One was on Carrboro’s poet laureate and the tradition of reading a poem rather than a prayer to start council meetings; another was on Carrboro’s Rec Department fall offerings (learn Italian cooking, pickleball or QiGong, go hiking …); the third was on the police department sending mental-health experts to some emergency calls rather than cops.
At Atomic Junk Shop I blogged about women superheroes getting costume changes (cover by Mike Sekowsky) and whether some older characters my generation loved are Dad heroes to Kids These Days (if they’ve heard of them at all).
MADAME HYDE (2017) is a French film I’d never heard of before I stumbled across it last week: a freak electrical accident renders frustrated science teacher Madame Gequil (Isabelle Huppert) — pronounces JeeKUL — happier and peppier but also turns her into a living lightning bolt after dark, a power she’s happy to exploit dealing with people who piss her off. A dull one, good only for the In Name Only appendix. “You think you can acquire great power by a magic, miracle or accident.”
VICTORIAN DEMONS: Medicine, Masculinity and the Gothic at the Fin-de-Siecle by Andrew Smith argues that by the end of the 19th century, the English upper classes were seriously concerned that the English Male had lost his mojo, becoming too degenerate to stand against such outside threats as syphilis and Dracula’s vampirism. Smith sees Dr. Jekyll and his friends (hence my interest in this book) as degenerates too — wealthy and upper-middle class but without the moral fiber for Jekyll to resist temptation or for his friends to take any real action against Hyde. He also argues the “invisible deformity” that makes people recoil from Hyde is that Hyde presents as a gentleman but the presentation is just enough “off” that it doesn’t work. I’m not sure how much value this hs to my book, but it was an interesting read.
JEKYLL (2007) was a six-episode BBC modern take on Stevenson, and every bit as good as I remembered it. In some ways better as I appreciate the ways it stands out. Irish actor James Nesbitt is a creepy maniacal fiend as Hyde, grinning in sadistic glee whenever he goes wild (I’d have loved to see him as the Joker).
As the series starts, Tom Jackman (Nesbitt) has learned he has a dangerously violent, immoral second personality, which is why he’s separated from his baffled wife Claire (Gina Bellman) and their kids. He’s worked out a rough relationship with his alter ego, communicating back and forth by a pocket recorder: “Hyde” (not named that until later) knows if he kills anyone, Jekyll will turn himself in for the crime; Jekyll knows if he tries to cure himself, Hyde will commit suicide.
That’s bad enough, obviously, but now a mysterious organization has begun hunting the duo. It turns out that Doctor Jekyll was a real person whose experiments triggered a superhuman mutation into Hyde (the series incorrectly states humans haven’t evolved in millennia); his friend Robert Louis Stevenson fictionalized the story, partly to cloud the truth and make it harder for anyone to exploit Jekyll’s research). Tom is his last living relative and therefore the object of the organization’s schemes.
The actors are excellent and Steven Moffat does a great job on the script. I like a number of the details such as Tom suffering from Hyde’s wild nights — Hyde stays up d rinking, Tom gets the hangover and the exhaustion the next day. It does have a few flaws such as several characters insisting Jekyll can’t be Tom’s ancestor — he had no children! The possibility of a bastard child kept from the limelight or a child of Hyde’s doesn’t come up (it’s the latter). Still, this is definitely one of the better modernizations.“The truth is, if I’m being honest, I don’t get a lot of pleasure out of killing children — but I get enough.”
