I’ve had better movie-viewing weeks (#SFWApro)

TIMEGATE: Tales of the Saddle Tramps (1990) is a soft-core fantasy in which two bored housewives get transported back to 1888, unwind with lots of sex, then return to now to discover they’ve apparently adjusted the timeline enough they’re getting lots of sex in the present too. One of those films where the plot does nothing but string sex scenes together, so if that’s what you’re looking for, you’re in luck (I wasn’t). “A timeline is something you don’t want to mess with.”

IN THE NAME OF THE KING 3: The Last Mission (2014) is a stripped-down version of 2: same basic plot (modern soldier thrown back to medieval times to battle magic and save freedom), but without any of the precedent’s detailed backstory—unlike 2‘s Rutger Hauer, Purcell just stumbles into the adventure without any tie to the past (the reasons he has a mystic tattoo are never really explained). Unimpressive mindless action.“I will kill you as I killed your mother.”

CONCEIVING ADA (1997) aspires to art but doesn’t achieve it. Instead we’ve got a hybrid SF/biopic story in which a computer researcher (and boy, are her cutting-edge computer images clunky!) peers through time (“Information waves never totally disappear.”) to witness her idol, 19th-century mathematician Ada Lovelace (Tilda Swinton). This will do fine in the appendix as the time-travel element is inconsquential; the ending in which the protagonist clones Ada’s mind and implants it in her newborn daughter is frankly creepy (as witness the logical double-bill that occurs to me is Demon Seed). “What if direct contact is possible at the borders of the physical world?”

ACTION REPLAYY (2010) is a Bollywood Back to the Future in which the protagonist uses an eccentric inventor’s time machine to visit the 1970s (it shows the cultural gap that while he’s thrilled at the sight of 1970s Mumbai, I can’t see the difference) in the hopes of turning his squabbling, divorcing parents’ union into a true love match. Very old-school on How to Win a Girl, and very long at two hours-plus. “Girls are the basic root of sorrow—their beauty is a trap.”

S. DARKO (2009) is the quasi-sequel to Donnie Darko in which Donnie’s sister Sam goes walkabout after the previous film’s tragedy, winding up in a small southern town where she finds lots of weirdness (this is very heavy on reusing the visuals of the first film) before she rewinds time, unmakes everything that happens and goes home. I wouldn’t recommend this even if I loved the first film.“In high school, if you’re not invisible, you’re an asshole.”

After appearing as a near-future bounty hunter in something called Future Force, David Carradine returns in FUTURE ZONE (1990), in which he finds himself targeted for death for crossing The Wrong People but saved repeatedly by the cocky new bounty hunter in town, who turns out to be Carradine’s future son (“I was supposed to die today, wasn’t I?”). Doing this from the POV of the father rather than the time-traveling child is a plus, but I suspect that was to minimize any changes to the first film’s formula—the core of this film is still Carradine giving a bad performance and blowing shit up real good. “You have the right to die. Use it.”

1 Comment

Filed under Movies, Now and Then We Time Travel

One response to “I’ve had better movie-viewing weeks (#SFWApro)

  1. Pingback: But here are some good things (#SFWApro) | Fraser Sherman's Blog

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