Undead Sexist Cliche: Once again, a right-winger tells us how feminism makes women suffer

Writing on Fox News’ website, Suzanne Venker discusses how women need to surrender to “their femininity” to get married, because “Men want to love women, not compete with them. They want to provide for and protect their families – it’s in their DNA. But modern women won’t let them.”
First, let us note that Venker is a professional working woman, not a housewife letting her man provide for her. Curiously, she offers no tips on how she manages to avoid intimidating men with her career, which might be more useful than her column here. Mostly, she waffles on about how women want to get married but men don’t (which the Feministe post at the link shows is not accurate for the stats Venker works with) and one side effect of that is that men are losing interest in accomplishing anything—what’s the point if they have to compete with women instead of showering them with gifts?
Not only that, feminism has ruined women’s lives by making premarital sex acceptable: “Feminism serves men very well: they can have sex at hello and even live with their girlfriends with no responsibilities whatsoever. It’s the women who lose.”
In other words, men still won’t buy the cow if they can get the milk free. Premarital sex and marriage are like matter and antimatter: If you have one, you lose the other. Which is nonsense—plenty of people marry after being intimate.
Implicit in the argument is that women, of course, can’t possibly benefit from no-strings sex: If it’s not leading to a ring on the finger, it’s a dead end. This is, of course, a staple of conservative abstinence arguments and a lot of apolitical discussion of relationships: Women don’t really want sex, they want love.
And for some women, that’s true. For others it isn’t. Being able to have “sex at hello” suits a few women I’ve known (not in the Biblical sense) very well. And it’s not as if guys in chaste or marital relationships (or women for that matter) don’t break up with their SO—just look at Henry VIII.
Some women don’t have sex because they’re hoping to catch a man. Some women have sex because they like sex, and sharing physical pleasure is a mutual, equal exchange.
But that would imply women’s greater independence can work out well, which would mean feminism worked out well. Don’t look for Venker, Caitlin Flanagan et al to admit stuff like that.

4 Comments

Filed under Politics, Undead sexist cliches

4 responses to “Undead Sexist Cliche: Once again, a right-winger tells us how feminism makes women suffer

  1. Pingback: More Undead Sexist Cliches than you can shake a stick at! | Fraser Sherman's Blog

  2. Pingback: Undead Sexist Cliche: Antifeminist women are special snowflakes | Fraser Sherman's Blog

  3. Pingback: Is this a link I see before me? | Fraser Sherman's Blog

  4. Pingback: Undead sexist cliche: good women are nice | Fraser Sherman's Blog

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