On my recent visit to Florida I rewatched JOHN CARTER (2012) with my BFF Cindy and her sister and found that despite no familiarity with the original Princess of Mars, they thoroughly enjoyed it (as do I — some thoughts from the last viewing here). Except for the ending, which violated Cindy’s rule that if she’s going to invest time in a film she wants a happy ending. I thought it was obvious things will work out at the end but Cindy didn’t — Carter’s been gone ten years from Mars, who knows what might have happened?
And that’s fair enough — she doesn’t have knowledge of the sequel, Gods of Mars. And she did get me thinking about what Part Two would have been like (had Disney not botched the marketing, leading to a box office flip) given that the plot of book two won’t work on screen, given the first film’s revelations about the Therns. I still love this film. “To truly demoralize a nation requires a spectacle on the grandest scale.”
More recently, TYG and I watched THE CONTENDER (2000) for date night, and it holds up well. President Jeff Bridges’ vice president has just died; rather than the front runner, a prominent governor, Bridges shoots for a precedent setting move, picking a woman, Senator Joan Allen. That doesn’t suit the governor’s ally, Sen. Gary Oldman, though he’s also sincere that he thinks Allen’s not ready for prime time. His tactics, however, are gutter fighting: is it true she had a drunken three-way at a frat party on college? Maybe more than two guys? How can we put a woman like that one heartbeat from the Oval Office?
Allen’s response: silence. As she says, even if her answer is No, I Didn’t, it treats the question as a valid standard for judging women’s fitness for office (as she also says, nobody would care if it were a man). Will she crack? Will Bridges give up on her? Part of what makes it good is that rather than present her as a perfect candidate they make her controversial, an atheist who advocates for the complete abolition of private gun ownership (I do not consider atheism controversial but it still is for a lot of Americans). Those are positions worthy of discussion but Oldman skips them in favor “she’s a slut!” It’s depressingly still relevant. And very well acted, with Christian Slater, Saul Rubinek, Katherine Morris and Sam Elliott (sans his usual mustache) in supporting roles. “You are the future of our party … and always will be.”
TANG AND ME (2022) is a Japanese film that plays like a knockoff of Short Circuit as a slacker husband tries to figure out the origin adorably cute robot that follows him around like a puppy. It became a “talking lamp” for me very quickly. “There’s a weird robot in our yard.”
The supervillain MEGAMIND (2010) is Will Ferrell’s Luthor-like adversary to Brad Pitt’s Superman clone Metro Man. Destroying his nemesis early in the film, Megamind discovers there’s no fun to being evil without an adversary. Unfortunately turning schmuck “Hal Stewart” (Jonah Hill) into a superhero goes bad when his superhero Titan almost immediately proves a case of Power Corrupts — gosh, oh gosh, who will step up and save the city now? With Tina Fey as the Lois counterpart, this has more fun with Evil Superman than Brightburn managed. “There’s a benefit to losing — you get to learn from your mistakes.”
A young woman grieving for the death of her BFF discovers NO ONE WILL SAVE YOU (2023?) when Greys sneak into her bedroom, muss up her kitchen, pod-people her neighbors and slam doors telekinetically just to be scary, all of it without dialog (the best feature). Like Dark Skies this is alien invasion as horror with the alien activity indistinguishable from demons or poltergeists (Exorcist: The Greys); while effectively creepy the Greys’ actions feel gratuitous unless you go with Resident Alien‘s theory they’re just pervy sadists. The ending makes even less sense and the director’s explanation — we’re not supposed to understand their logic — doesn’t redeem it.
#SFWApro. All rights to images remain with current holders. Princess of Mars cover by Michael Whelan.
