If I were going alliterative, I could call this “Crushed by Craigslist” only …

Only “Mauled by Myself” is probably more accurate. Or in a more soapish style, “My Secret Shame.”
Said shame being that by nature, I’m amazingly disorganized. In my twenties, before I learned about to-do lists (not to mention the importance of checking a to-do list after you write it down) I never got anything done——or at least, not half as much as I wish I had——because it was always easier to nap, daydream, turn on the TV, etc. In short, idle time-wasting while telling myself I’d get stuff done at any minute, rather than actually going off and actively doing something fun.
To overcome that, I’ve learned to organize (and occasionally over-organize). I structure my time tightly and then I follow the structure; if work or TYG or dental appointments cut into structured time, I make it up somewhere else.
Sometimes, however, things get chaotic enough that it becomes obvious I’ve no hope of getting anything done. Which makes the impulse to daydream nigh-irresistible. If it’s only a self-imposed deadline (most of mine are) and I know I’m not going to make it, what’s the point in half-making it? Wouldn’t I rather browse the Internet? Or just sit and twiddle my thumbs?
Due to TYG’s surgery and its effect on my schedule, I’ve been sliding into that mode this month, as I now realize. And Tuesday I slid into it some more.
Up until Tuesday, we had a Body Solid EXm 1500 Home Gym in the spare bedroom/my study. TYG no longer uses it (she prefers the gym) so it does nothing but take up space in a small room. Tuesday morning, she put it on Craig’s list.
Two minutes later, I got the first call asking about it. I fielded probably two dozen that morning. I don’t know if that means it’s an awesome piece of equipment or if it’s just that in a city of a half-million, two dozen calls is statistically unremarkable.
The first caller showed up, and she did an amazing job dismantling the Exm (it’s obvious she’s had experience working with a wrench and screwdriver before). Then it was a matter of vacuuming, relocating the recliner I work in, and finding places to hang everything I’d been suspending on the Exm. All of which threw me off schedule enough that when I set down to start ehowing, my mind just refused to work with its usual speed. Then the stirred up dust gave me a hellacious headache and I didn’t work at all for a while (though it’s still wonderful to have the space——I’m very glad to see it go).
And from that point on, I spent the rest of the week, much like last week, just crawling along. Completed my ehows but so fricking slowly … I think it’s partly my decision that my only fiction project this month would be finishing the Brain From Outer Space draft. That’s clearly beyond my reach, and I don’t have any smaller projects on the to-do list so a part of me feels even doing a little is now useless. And that part’s spent this week in the driver’s seat.
No more.
Much as I prefer to scatter eHows throughout the day, next week (well, the three days I’m working), I shall start the morning with three hours of fiction. That leaves me with six hours to do six ehows——which will hopefully push me to get my act together. And even if I drag and wind up finishing them up in the evening, I’ll have some of Brain done. So there.
Chew on that, Dark Side of mine.