The Spanish film THE BLIND DEAD (1972), AKA Tombs of the Blind Dead, didn’t do much for me but it was popular enough to spawn three sequels. After an argument with her traveling companions, a young woman gets off the train she’s riding and takes shelter for the night in an old castle. This unfortunately stirs up the inhabitants: Templars hung in medieval times for their Satanic practices after which crows pecked out their eyes. The blind Templars rise out of their tombs and go on a killing spree, hunting their prey by sound (so The Quiet Place would be a good double bill). It’s a competently executed film, but it didn’t do much for me. “Black masses are a thing of the past, doctor.”
I watched ROAD HOUSE (1989) because TYG had it streaming last weekend; I’ve never seen it before and can’t say I missed anything. Patrick Swayze plays Dalton, a bouncer — sorry, a “cooler” which is apparently a head bouncer — who takes a job bringing order to Tombstone — er, to a wild, rowdy road house which is also under threat from local extortionist Ben Gazzara (I assume he took the gig for the money but he makes his villain far better than the film deserves). This is predictable — I figured out the fate of Swayze’s mentor (Sam Elliott) as soon as he showed up — but adequate to fill some time with. “It seems everywhere I go, I hear that same joke.”
VIRGIN OF THE SECRET SERVICE (1968) pits dauntless Captain Robert Virgin (Clinton Greyn), his aide Doublett (John Cater) and adventurer/photographer Mrs. Cortez (Veronica Strong) against German schemes to bring down the empire. In the first, the bad guys are working with an Afghan ruler to weaken British control of the area; in the second, they’re sponsoring a Chinese conspiracy. Teaming Cortez and Virgin makes me think they’re shooting for a Steed and Mrs. Peel vibe but despite some tongue-in-cheek moments they don’t come anywhere near close. Nor do lines about “Chinks” and the Yellow Peril go over well. I gave up on this after a couple of episodes. “Did you know French girls sit around in their birthday suits?”
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