I’m now more than 30,000 words into the second draft of Let No Man Put Asunder. I think I’ve encountered the first problem I’m having to think hard about.
As I’ve written several times over the years, the start of a story determines where it ends. Bleeding Blue, which came out last year, starts with Janet beginning her three days service as a police shield; it ends when her service ends and she returns to normal life. Questionable Minds starts with Simon Taggart dealing with a traumatic flashback; it ends with him making peace with at least some of his trauma.
Let No Man Put Asunder starts with Paul and Mandy both unhappy. Paul’s academic career has crashed and he’s now working as a busboy at a greasy spoon and spending whatever he can spare to buy time with sex workers. Mandy’s family are finally out of the house, she’s ready to start living life for herself … and yet she’s suffering a failure to launch. Then they meet, find they’re somehow telepathically linked, people start trying to kidnap them … but I think the ending sets up that the resolution should be about moving into a better place in life, or failing to.
Paul’s arc is shaping up nicely; from his perspective this is a “new adult” book where he grows up and starts to live his life. Mandy’s is trickier. She’s older, a lot more mature, and the life she has at the start isn’t bad; Paul needs a complete reboot, Mandy just needs some upgrading.
The obvious HEA would be some romance in her life, which she’s certainly open to. However that feels way too trite for a female lead and I don’t have anyone in mind (Paul is more in the little brother category). I’m not sure yet what the alternative is.
Because of that, the current section of the book feels a little unbalanced. Paul’s getting to grow and change, Mandy doesn’t have as much to do emotionally. Part of what I did last week was to go back and rewrite the scene before they storm the vampire fortress that materialized on the motel where they were staying (things are getting weird. They’ll get weirder). Dive into Mandy’s feelings, her fear they’re on a suicide mission, the reasons she does it anyway, the realization that frustrating as her life is, she’d like to hang on to it.
I think it helped with the balance between them a lot. That still doesn’t show me where her character arc is heading but it’s a start.
Cover by Samantha Collins, all rights to image are mine.
