I expect a swasbuckling pirate movie to center on pirate adventure and swordplay. By that standard CAPTAIN BLOOD (1935) is a very odd swashbuckler, though it’s still a classic one.
Like the book it’s based on, the film takes it’s time getting to the piracy. We have Peter Blood (Errol Flynn) treatting a man injured during an uprising against James II; this is enough to get him condemned to death, then generously spared to become slave labor in the Barbados. The first half of the film covers all that, his success treating the governor for gout and his determination to exploit his position to free not only himself but his enslaved friends. It takes an hour to get to the piracy but it isn’t boring and Flynn, who’d previously appeared in a handful of “quota quickies” (films Warner Brothers shot in England to meet British legal requirements), is marvelous.
Olivia deHaviland shines as Arabella, who buys Blood in the slave market to keep him from going to the mines. She expects gratitude; he can’t show that to someone who owns him. Arabella has more agency than I remembered: not only does she save Peter Blood, when she spots him setting up his escape, she covers for him. It’s as entertaining as I remember it (it was watching this film as a tween that first got me hooked on movies); with Lionel Atwill as Blood’s nemesis and Basil Rathbone as a less ethical pirate. “If I’m not a physician, how do I know you’re a dying man?”
Wes Anderson films can be hit or miss with me but THE PHOENICIAN SCHEME (2025) was definitely a hit. It’s the late 1950s and corporate tycoon Benicio del Toro wants to create a massive hydroelectric industrial complex in the Middle East. Bringing his daughter, a pipe-smoking nun, along with him, he tries to nail down the last partnerships required for success, while dodging assassins. The plot makes no sense but I don’t watch Wes Anderson for a cohesive story; the bizarre set pieces are entertaining and the cast includes Michael Cera as an entomology-obsessed spy, Scarlett Johanssen as a businesswoman, Tom Hanks as a businessman with a knack for basketball, and Richard Ayouade as a very Che-looking revolutionary. “It’s a vestigial organ. I tried pushing it back inside.”
Aren (Justice Smith), a young black artist discovers THE AMERICAN SOCIETY OF MAGICAL NEGROES (2024) which fixes white people’s lives on the principle happier white people are less likely to kill them. Roger (David Alan Grier), his mentor in the society, leads Aren to his first assignment, helping a social media design guy deliver the project he’s struggling to complete — but then the mission requires Aren also give up his dream girl (An-Li Bogan). Can he do his duty?
This has some excellent moments such as parodies of The Green Mile and Legend of Bagger Vance. However it felt “off” to me in ways I couldn’t quite pin down — I think this review says it well, though. “We are constantly monitoring the happiness of every white person in America.”
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