As I mentioned last week, Chapter Three of Let No Man Put Asunder has a big fight scene. I spent several hours improving it (I hope) with the help of the book Fight Write. The book encourages asking multiple questions so you know where the fight has to end an how to get there.
First, what’s the point of the fight? What do I want the outcome to be? And what do the characters want?
Earlier in the night, protagonists Mandy and Paul were attacked by two magical adversaries, Grainge and Mountebank, who attempted to kidnap them. Escaping, they recuperate at Mandy’s home, hopeful they haven’t been followed, and try to make sense of things. Trouble shows up in the form of two rival kidnappers: Celathion, an elf riding a small dragon, and Peacock, a flamboyantly dressed martial artist.
My goal: Mandy and Paul stave off the kidnapping until the cops arrive. They fight with the new abilities they’ve gained (Paul is apparently psionic, Mandy’s suddenly a kick-ass fighter) and discover more of their scope. And they lose. Their adversaries are seasoned professionals. Mandy and Paul do learn a little more about what they’re up against. The police find all these goings-on highly suspicious.
Character goals? Paul and Mandy want to avoid capture. The two kidnappers need the opposite, plus they have to take each other down.
The Setting. How does this affect the fight?
I thought I’d done a good job with that. We have Mandy hurling an ashtray full of butts into someone’s face, Paul throwing a pile of Reader’s Digest at his opponent, people vaulting up and onto the banisters. But when I thought about the who and the where I realized Mandy’s not going to let Celathion in. She shoves the couch in front of the door with Paul’s help, then talks to Celathion through the window. It’s a minor thing but it’s a much more sensible tactic.
It also slowed things down long enough for Mandy and Paul to have an initial first round with Peacock. That changed the pacing for the better.
It’ll be a while before I can get anyone to beta read it but I’m pleased with the improvements.
#SFWApro. Art by Jack Kirby (t) and Carmine Infantino, all rights to images remain with current holders.
