Farting like a trombone orchestra

That’s how TYG described her experience the colonoscopy ward after I’d finished my procedure. To get a better view inside the colon, the team pumps gas in; after the probe is one, they massage the belly to empty the gas out. So when she went in to collect me, she was surrounded by flatulence on every side (they told TYG I did a great job vacating the gas. Go me!).

When last I wrote about this I was in the bland diet phase of colonoscopy prep, avoiding anything with fiber. Sunday I began the really fun part: nothing but clear liquid to drink (my caloric intake was entirely apple juice) then in the evening taking a laxative to void everything that might block the scan. I wasn’t consistently pooping, but I was up until after midnight. And they’re unpleasantly watery poops too.

After more voiding Monday morning, we went in. Triangle Endoscopy Center did a great job, and everything went smoothly, or as smoothly as possible. TYG says they were very pleased with how clear things were up in there, which makes me think some people follow the regimen more loosely than I did.

Because I use Ambien and drink wine, the doctor told me anesthetic might lose some of its effectiveness. He suggested benadryl for extra sleepiness but I’ve had experience with waking up from benadryl and I didn’t want to be that groggy. I made the right call, the anesthetic took me down and kept me out. Though I was less blank about the next couple of hours (when I was awake, that is) than the last time I went in so maybe it did lose some edge.

My biggest worry was that when they checked out my colon, they’d Find Something. Or I’d wake up with my entire digestive system removed — okay, I knew that wasn’t going to happen, but I did feel nervous. But nope, no cancer just a couple of possibly problematic polyps, which they snipped off. I don’t return for another colonoscopy for either ten years (the polyps were nonthreatening).

That’s why the inconvenience is worth it. I’d prefer not to die any sooner than I had to, and colon cancer kills. The pups and TYG would never forgive me if I died too soon from something I could have prevented.

After I woke up, I made up for lost time: blue cheese on the damper bread I made last week, followed by yogurt, hummus and hot tea (not mixed, in case you were wondering). To celebrate, here’s Trixie!

My expression looks grumpier than I felt; I was just worried that with Plush Dog hogging the lap, Trixie was feeling neglected. I can’t have that.

And I forgot to mention last week that I donated blood a fortnight ago. The double dose of red cells, so I’m good until March.

#SFWApro. Images are mine.


Filed under Personal

3 responses to “Farting like a trombone orchestra

  1. Pingback: That was a shorter work week than I anticipated | Fraser Sherman's Blog

  2. Pingback: Librarians, Dungeons and Dragons, mad science and cartoons: movies and TV | Fraser Sherman's Blog

  3. Pingback: 33,000 and counting | Fraser Sherman's Blog

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