So with my mother’s life reaching its end, I decided to fly down to Fort Walton Beach today to see her before she passed. I knew there was a possibility she’d die first, but I wanted to spend the weekend with TYG. And it wasn’t clear how long I’d be down there, I didn’t want to add an extra day up front (there’s only so much time I want to be away). So I stuck with Monday.
Come around 5;30 Monday morning, my sister called to say she had passed. I’m disappointed I wasn’t there, but not kicking myself (and the chance I’d have been there that early is, I suspect, slim). A couple of hours later, I was off to the airport. Unfortunately I had a trainee TSA guy so my ankle brace, which normally passes without comment, had to be examined carefully for possible contraband or metal (I think I was the trainee’s guinea pig). Minor, but by the time I got out and recovered my phone from the scanner, my sister had called. Calling back, I learned we won’t get Mum’s body until some time next week. Rather than go down and stay, I talked to Delta and yes, I can reschedule my flight without the usual fees (thank you, Delta). So as soon as my sister figures it out, I’ll do so.
And then it was sit, have a cup of tea at the RDU Starbucks, then go meet TYG. Now I’m back home, kind of readjusting my plans, and dealing with feelings. Right now it’s much as it was last week, a kind of tension clasping at me, only one moment of crying so far. I shall try to let whatever is going to come, come — work if I can, don’t work if I can’t rather than force it. Not having lost a parent before, I’ve no idea how I’ll feel as the week progresses.
Also, having been thrown off by my sister’s call as I pulled my possessions out of the TSA bins, I didn’t pick up the silver necklace I wear, and didn’t realize it until TYG and I were on the way home. That was distressing: it was TYG’s first Valentine’s Day gift to me, and so it means a lot. Fortunately the TSA had recovered it and turned it into lost-and-found at the airport. We’ll pick it up later this week.
Below, some shorts of Mum from her 75th birthday trip to New York with us.