Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be writers

A member of my local writing group linked to this Letter to Beginning Writers by Robert J. Sawyer (of Flashforward fame). It’s kind of bleak about the odds (though not unreasonably) which may not be a bad thing; as Lawrence Block observed many years ago, the writing life involves so much rejection, if you need someone to urge you on, you may be in the wrong business.
But anyway, that got me thinking about two pieces of advice I’d give anyone who wanted to write:
•Enjoy it. As Sawyer points out (not only there, but here), the odds against making a living writing fiction (or in most cases, nonfiction) are slim. If you don’t find it fun, there’s probably no point.
I’ve read articles where writers say they enjoy “having written”—the finished work—but not what it takes to get there. I’ve never quite gotten that: Given how much more time I spend writing than having finished, I don’t think I’d keep going on that basis (of course, these were also pros—if I were making a living off fiction, maybe I’d feel differently. Almost certainly).
And no, I’m not one of those writers who “have” to write because it’s a demon or a passion or a story inside them screaming to come out. I don’t have to. I could quit (at least the freelance stuff). I’ve considered it a couple of times. But given an occasional sale, I’m quite happy to keep creating.
•Have a good life.
J. Michael Straczynski said in a terrific essay many years ago (regrettably I don’t know where to find it online, if it’s even online) that when he started out, his commitment to screenwriting was absolute: He’d either make it or (his words) the abyss would take him.
I’ve never felt like that (which dovetails with the not-having-to-write feeling, I think). If I couldn’t make it as a writer (not that I ever really defined what constituted being unable to make it), I was going to accept it and move on. And I was determined not to look back and feel that the past X number of years I’d spent writing had been wasted.
I’ve given up stuff to write: As I got more serious about writing, I did much less theater. But I’ve always been repulsed by the occasional column where writers would brag they had no social life, no outside activities because they were totally devoted to creating their Great Works.
I suppose if I thought that kind of insane, over-the-edge commitment would have made a difference in my past, I’d feel bad about slacking off now. But I don’t. I’ve had friends, traveled (when my budget could afford it), squeezed in theater, sat on beautiful beaches and generally had a satisfactory life (more so now that I’m with TYG of course)—more than I sometimes realized at the time.
That being said, it’s up to everyone to decide what their tradeoffs are in life and how much they want to write (or anything else). JMS took his gamble and it worked. Me, I think the abyss did just fine without me.