I’ve got £90,000 in my pajamas, I’ve got 40,000 French francs in my fridge

(Title courtesy of Monty Python’s money song).
Regrettably, I do not have either. And I guess now it should be 40,000 euros. But I digress.
For me, one of the problems of freelancing is setting my budget. Not on a monthly basis: I have no trouble spending less than I make each month and saving the rest.
But what do I do with the excess? Sure, it’s good to save for lean times or unplanned expenses, but sometimes I have trouble doing anything else. If I do under-perform one month, or I want to splurge on something (a trip somewhere, a big dinner out, a touring theater company), I feel vaguely guilty. What if I need the money down the road? What if TYG needs the money? And it’s not there because I squandered it on foolish pleasure.
Or what if the eHow website crashes
At some point, it has to be okay to indulge, but I’ve had so many experiences of needing money and not having it, I flinch from actually doing it (little indulgences such as books aside). Even though I’m making much more now than I was then.
Likewise, it should be fine to set aside money in good times and spend it in lean ones; that’s the nature of the freelance life. But the thought of spending the reserves also makes me flinch.
Not that I’m seriously denying myself or anything. But sometimes I get frustrated at myself.